Come on! You are young, excited and living in a city of tens of thousands of excited twentysomethings at varying levels of romantic and sexual inexperience. Everyone is hooking up and you are convinced that you can’t. Instead, you are stuck thinking about the guy who held the humanities elevator open for you two months ago.
Casual relationships are not hard to come by in the year 2023. Among student communities like Tuks, they present the unique opportunity to not only get your fix, but to do so while staying relatively sober. They also allow you to stay on the streets but occasionally stop to lie on the curb.
According to Brides.com, casual dating is a physical and emotional relationship between people who go on dates without necessarily demanding or expecting the extra commitments of a more serious romantic relationship. So, is your need to DTR (define your relationship) every other week starting to AYL (affect your life)? Don’t worry, whether you have already mastered casual dating or are still mulling over your first Netflix and Chill, these five tips will help you along the journey:
Decide if this is really what you want to do
It is easy to feel pressured into pursuing casual relationships due to the lack of romantic or sexual prospects. Moreover, seeing how easy relationships are for the people around you can also add to that. If you decide to partake in casual dating against your authentic will, not only will it not be enjoyable but there is the risk that you will utterly regret it. Casual dating can be a very positive experience as it can allow you to discover what you like. Iit provides variety and it also offers a reprieve from the pressures of monogamy. However, it also has the negative effects of being impersonal and not allowing an appropriate environment for developing a deeper emotional connection.
Communicate with your partners
There is no guidebook for casual relationships therefore, communication with partners will differ for each person. This can look like; telling them not to booty call you after 11pm, having direct conversations about contraception, being honest if you don’t want to be casual anymore, etc. This also includes setting boundaries and respecting any partner(s) boundaries.
Forget the rom-com fantasies
Going into this kind of relationship expecting that you can convince someone to fall in love with you when they have explicitly stated that they are interested in something casual will (probably) only leave you hurt and disappointed. Life doesn’t quite work like a romantic comedy. Wherein, that arrangement gets portrayed as the meet-cute you can one day laugh about while relaying to your kids.
Keep it moving
One of the good things about casual dating is the amount of variety you are afforded with. The lack of emotional attachment also helps to allow for so many different outcomes. If one avenue doesn’t work out, you have the opportunity to go down another path.
Keep an open mind
Enjoy the variety. Check-in with yourself. Enjoy the seemingly endless prospects and possibilities. Revel in the side eyes of your friends who just don’t get it. Laugh at your questionable decisions. Stay safe and have fun.