How to hide your hangover from your lecturer and his humble lecture attendees Cc: Participants in Tequila Tuesday, Why Not Wednesday and Thirsty Thursday

by Vuyiswa Fumba | Mar 21, 2024 | Features

A few things most students have experienced: living below the breadline every two weeks, wondering if 20% really is that much in the grand scheme of the semester mark, and desperately wanting to stop a hangover before attending a lecture. If you are a Hellfield resident who lives within walking distance of at least three watering holes, you have probably said these words before: “Make it stop! Please God, make it stop. I’ll never drink again.” In the event that your desperate plea to the heavens is left unanswered, these are a few ways to hide your hangover from your lecturer and his humble lecture attendees (who may or may not be tossing 300 sober side eyes your way).

Skip the lecture?

Technically, non-attendance counts as “hiding” a hangover. Sometimes the hangover horrors are so bad, you cannot get out of bed. On those occasions, it might help to remember that most modules only require 80% lecture attendance. (PS: The person who wrote this has been previously academically excluded, heed at own risk.)  

A little hair of the dog

The expression “hair of the dog” originates from an old method of treating a rabid dog bite that involves drinking a potion containing hair from the dog that bit you. TLDR: postmedieval people theorised that the very cause of a sickness can sometimes be its solution. This idea has been extended to treating a hangover. Any seasoned alcoholic will scream from the rooftops, “The best way to deal with a hangover? Keep drinking.” A very fun loophole indeed. Coincidentally, it is also something that recovering alcoholics strongly advise against.

Dark shades and a big bottle of water.

Hydrate, hydrate, hydrate! According to Healthline, dehydration can be a huge contributor to hangovers. It is easier to become mildly dehydrated during and after drinking, which could lead to headaches, dizziness, light-headedness, and thirst the morning after.

Take a panado, suck on a Rehidrat sachet and sip some water during the lecture. Not only will future-you thank you for your class attendance despite the pressing circumstances, your liver will thank you for looking out.

Embrace the binge = embrace the cringe.

Ride the wave of being hungover. Feel the pain and acknowledge that you are not 17 anymore (if you are 18 reading this, kindly gloss over). No backing out of lectures (unless you have a 07:30 of course), no sleeping in (unless you have an 08:30 of course), no more than four panados, and for goodness’ sake, no more alcohol! Whether you attend the lecture or not, the hangover will prevail, so you might as well use that time, and that pounding headache, to ponder the impact of your actions and consider some recourse.

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