Pssst… hears that the Vremies from Kollege have been having some trouble waking up to sing their house song on Wednesdays. To remedy this, an innovative Vremie decided to wake up his mates with “The circle of life”. Perhaps Kollege should have employed this tactic before their Serenade, since Pssst… struggled to find any humour in their tired jokes.

Nerina, Pssst… was very worried by your five minute insert about drugs in your Serenade. Pssst… knows that Nerina are no strangers to partying hard, but advertising that fact is more Klaradyn’s thing.

Speaking of the Welpies, Pssst… couldn’t help but notice their absence at Serenade, unlike their Ser group that found out that their Serenade HK had withdrawn them three months too late. She should teach the rest of Klaradyn a thing or two about not advertising.

Pssst… thinks that OP Men doesn’t really know how journalism works – or singing, for that matter. As for OP Ladies, let’s just say that Pssst…’s childhood Disney memories died a slow, painful death after their performance.

Pssst… thinks that Vividus Ladies need to calm down in terms of their themes. First they wanted to KO the judges at Ienkmelodienk, then they tried to flash us all to death at Serrie, and now it seems as if their Serenade girls might beat us with baseball bats. Pssst… would insult you, Vividus Ladies, but Pssst… is honestly too scared.

Vividus Men, your arrogance is getting out of hand. Not only did Pssst… have to endure your overconfident squalling during Serenade, but Pssst… also had to watch you embarrass yourselves by implying that you’d be welcome at any wedding ever.

Pssst… would like to give a shout-out to the one first-year whose voice had to carry the entire Olienhout Serenade group this year. Without you, Pssst… might have started crying, and not in a good way.

Pssst… thinks that Inca got a bit confused between the police and CSI. At least they weren’t as confused as Maroela, who had a “school of rock” Serenade with no rock songs. Awkward.

Pssst… is glad to see that Katjiepiering lived up to their name for once, since their singing sounded more like ear-piercing cat-noises than anything else.

Taaibos tried to be ambitious by making their theme “revolutionaries”, but the only revolution they sparked was encouraging Pssst… to walk out of the Aula.

Before Magrietjie take on any space travels, Pssst… thinks that they first need to learn how to spell the word “astronauts”. Really, Magrietjie, it’s not that difficult.

The only ones more lost than Pssst… during Olympus’ performance was, well, Olympus. At least they didn’t make Pssst… literally yawn out of boredom, like Asterhof did. Seriously though, nobody had time for Asterhof’s “clock shop” – see what Pssst… did there?

Pssst… wonders if it is physically possible for the ladies from Erika to relax their eyebrows. At one point Pssst… was worried that some of their Serenade members would have their eyebrows permanently attached to their hairlines.

Pssst… is surprised that there was still space on stage for Boekenhout’s Serenade group, seeing as a few of their members looked like a hairdresser’s wet dream. At one point it seemed to be a bit of a hairy situation for Boekenhout, but Pssst… won’t split hairs about it.

On the subject of shaggy-ness, Pssst… would like to know what the deal is with Zinnia’s Serenade group and drawn-on beards. It was creepy last year and, no surprise, it was creepy this year as well. At least they weren’t as bad as Luminous, who somehow managed to once again deliver the most awkward Serenade performance of the year. Really Luminous, Pssst… doesn’t even know what to say to you anymore. Next year, perhaps try doing something that doesn’t give Pssst… (and everyone else) excessive amounts of second-hand embarrassment.

After this mega edition of Pssst…, the gossip girls and guys have hopefully had their fill. If, however, you feel like Pssst… has missed something, send an email to pssst@perdeby.co.za.

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