1. I’m a huge Royal Danish fan. They’re open until 22:00 so they’re great for study break snack. I particularly like their chilli chocolate ice-cream. Can’t make the trip? Haloa Coffee on campus is the perfect place to work or socialise between classes.
2. RamFest. My best festival memories have been made at this festival. Without a 2015 festival, I felt like someone had cancelled Christmas. Unfortunately the alternative music gig has been postponed again this year.
3. Your shoe has broken on campus and you’re forced to walk around barefoot while people shoot you dirty looks.
4. The Perdeby office aircon.
5. A copy of Perdeby. Seriously, we’re not rated the best student newspaper in the country for nothing.
1. I often hear the phrase “Aandklas Rat”. It is actually pretty cool being one of those on Thursday nights, so I recommend giving it try. That place fixes tables by day, and allows all sorts of characters to dance on them by night. It’s basically karaoke on a table, signing your heart out to killer tracks ranging from Jack Parow to Tenacious D.
2. Spring Day. My greatest memories have been catching a bus to the Botanical Gardens, and dehydrating in the sun while I sit on some random guy’s shoulders in the crowd rapping to Jack Parow (I seem to mention him often). The bus ride home isn’t guaranteed, but fighting for a seat or running after the last bus barefoot on the tar kind of excites me.
4. There is a haunted “nonexistent” fifth floor in the HSB. I don’t have the answers and am not particularly keen to seek them either.
5. A good sense of humour. It’s pretty funny to not know where your classes are and walk around embarrassed with a map, to forget how to make new friends, and to pick up weight buying way too many of those giant pizza slices from campus. Laugh at yourself: this is the start of discovering one of the most exciting chapters in your life.
1. +27 Cafe. Do it. Just do it. You don’t even need to buy anything, just chill in that oasis of bliss and take it in. There’s wifi, so you can study while sipping on their divine milkshakes or nibbling on their desserts that are half price after 16:00 every day. They’re not even paying me to say all of this, that’s how good they are
2. Mopanie’s Oesdag. Last year it was amazing (apparently) and it’s one of the last res traditions still going strong, so do give it a go
3. Your bedtime becomes 4:00. Seriously I laugh when I think I used to consider midnight late
4. Kloostersaal chips. Ask a res friend, they’ll tell you, or ask me, I’ll tell you – they’re amazing
5. Ask for help. It will save you a ton of trouble and a ton of time, especially when it comes to studies. A lot of first-years struggle with the change in academic work and their usual studying methods don’t seem to work anymore
Don’t be afraid to step out of your comfort zone and ask for help: start a study group, ask for directions to +27 Cafe, use Google Maps (abuse this campus wifi), just don’t be afraid. Fear has no place in the heart of a Tuks student.
1. Aandklas, obviously. It’s where memories are made, friendships formed, and livers destroyed. Also, go visit the embassies around campus. The Hatfield/Arcadia area has the highest number of embassies/consulates per square kilometre in the world.
2. Oppikoppi, Ramfest, Rag, Park Acoustics, Red Bull X-Fighters, am I forgetting something? Go to all of them – you only live once!
3. You’ve tripped on the sidewalk, stairs, or even just a flat surface. It’s going to happen sooner than you think and don’t try and act cool when it does: no one looks cool tripping. Also, you’re not a Tuks student until you get stuck in the HSB elevators.
4. The original Mapungubwe golden rhino housed in the Old Arts Building. Also, Sci-Enza – it’s a student’s getaway.
5. A phone charger, an endless supply of caffeine and a few good friends. A map of the university is also highly advisable. Having a “Chad” with you on a daily basis also makes life tons of fun.
1. Square! Oh wait, it’s gone. Movies! Oh wait, gone too. Now I’ve made myself sad.
2. rAge Expo, of course.
3. You’ve sat at an unknown location for an undefined amount of time contemplating your existence, knowing full well that you should be studying.
4. Get 40Mb/s down while everyone else gets 100kb/s down. It wouldn’t be a secret if I told you, now would it?
5. A cheque card linked to your savings account. You can use it for online transactions, use it to pay for an Uber in horrible situations late at night or buy your textbooks/laptop/tablet online. Everything is cheaper online. Having a “Marko” with you on a daily basis also makes life tons of fun
1. Capital Craft, if you can afford R 50 beers and possess a majestic beard, Arcade Empire if you want to venture further. Otherwise save your booze money, pack lunch and drive out to Mystic Monkeys, Parys for river rafting or the cheetah park.
2. I’ve only got one word for you: Mieliepop. It’s like Oppikoppi but without the dust and is one of the most beautiful drives and festival locations I’ve ever been to. Park Acoustics is also a monthly must, and never miss Halloween at Arcade.
3. Taken the Thuto elevator without being disabled, had Oom Gert’s chips for breakfast, or spent more time calculating your semester mark than studying to improve it.
4. They’re called secrets for a reason. If you see me around, I might share one or two with you, though
5. A copy of Perdeby, a willingness to try new things and meet new people, and a flask (for whatever beverage you require, I won’t ask questions).
Head Copy editor
1. Lollipop Road House. You don’t have to get out of your car to order, and they have delicious pizza big enough to feed a student for two days.
2. I am required by law to plug Oppikoppi here. Now please let my family go.
3. You’ve registered, duh.
4. Campus has a particle accelerator. Seriously. That is cool as s**t.
5. A bicycle. You will never find parking, it is a myth created to lure in new students.
1. Uncle Faouzi’s. You need their Philadelphia wrap in your life (and your belly).
2. Oppikoppi. As the Entertainment editor, it is my duty to recommend that you attend this dirty, dusty, altogether unforgettable festival.
3. You’ve bunked a class (Mom, if you’re reading this, it was only one time. Marko made me do it).
4. The Botany building. I won’t tell you what you’ll find there. It is a secret, after all.
5. Bulk packs of two-minute noodles, decent shoes and, if you don’t stay in res (or hey, even if you do) bulk toilet paper.
1. Since the passing of Hatfield Square (R.I.P.), there are few places left in Hatfield for the party goers. You could try Tennessee, Aandklas or Springboks, depending on what kind of atmosphere you enjoy. If you’re down for some chilling then you have to check out +27, Aroma, and Cafe Assia.
2. Rag. Okay, it’s changed a bit over the years but it’s still a blast. There’s something really liberating about running around a farm looking at cool floats, laughing at bad ones and literally tanning while you’re walking. Bring an umbrella or bid farewell to your complexion.
3. You will never be a Tukkie until you have spent more than 24 hours working on campus. Embrace these moments and be proud of the fact that you were so dedicated to getting your degree, you gave up something as important as sleep. Don’t do this regularly, though.
4. Campus’s best kept secret is definitely Perdeby. We have informants in the CIA, the FBI and even the Scorpions. We have more money than the Russian mafia and our office has a higher value than Nkandla. We also have undercover assassins in all classes on campus, doctors who conduct human experiments on lecturers, and we have been hiding Tupac for many years now. Now that you’ve read this, I will have to find you and kill you.
5. Every first-year needs to chill. There’s no more need for attitude, attention seeking or “swag”. Just be a human being. Be kind to everyone you meet. You’re one step closer to adulthood but that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t enjoy your time here. Have fun and get involved, because time flies and before you know it you’ll be a nostalgic old News editor who will be out of a job in a year. Not that I’m making reference to anyone in particular.
1. University of Pretoria Hatfield campus, that’s kind of why you’re here, right?
2. Ultra Music Festival. This year’s festival will definitely be one for the history books.
3. You pull an all-nighter preparing for an exam, then enjoy a cold one at Oom Gert’s afterwards.
4. The Sci-Enza centre is a gem hidden in plain sight. Spend a day there and just take in the ingenuity of some simple yet mind-bending inventions and contraptions.
5. An open mind, and the ability to mix with people of different backgrounds and learn from them.