Your cousin has recently been facing the kind of existential dread that many of our younger readers probably think will never befall them (spoilers: it will). What I’m talking about is the fabled quarter-life crisis. Morbid as it may seem, this is a state that lies on the horizon for us all. Adulthood can mean many things: freedom, responsibility, crippling debt…but let’s keep it light, shall we?

Your cousin once read something interesting on the cesspool that is Facebook (a rarity in itself): adulthood is having the “we have food at home” discussion with yourself. And it’s true.

Maybe being an adult means getting to stay up until 4am with your PlayStation, but it also means bearing the consequences of that decision – at some point. Your 20s can be strange like that. Being an adult definitely means noticing things like, “hey, my knees hurt a lot more frequently nowadays” or, “it’s quite liberating to crack open a new pack of kitchen sponges” or, “I’ve definitely reached my threshold for vodka tolerance”.

In all honesty, though, as you progress through the swamp that is your 20s you will realise that being an adult mostly means making things up as you go along. Adulthood is this grand standard that we are all meant to strive to, yet adulthood might mean different things to different people – a notion that cleverly tricks us into thinking that we’re bad at being adults. Is anyone good at being an adult?

As an adult, you might begin to realise that some things become never-ending: your laundry, your dishes, your ever-growing uncertainty about the future, and that collection of mugs on your bedside table.

Your cousin could laugh all of this off and say that adulthood really isn’t as bad as people make it out to be, but sadly we can all agree that that’s not true. It’s nice to dream though, right?

My lower back is killing me,

Campus Cousin

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