For many people, home is a singular, familiar place. Home could be a childhood house, a city or neighbourhood we have known our whole lives, or even the country we are from. However, for Adult Third Culture Kids (ATCKs), the concept of home is far more complex. Growing up in a country that is different from your parents’ homeland raises important questions: Where is home? Where am I from?
ATCKs grow up in different environments from their parents and often have to navigate and balance the diverse cultures of their host country and their parents’ culture. As ATCKs grow into adulthood, their multicultural upbringing shapes their identity, career paths, and relationships in unique ways. This raises the question: are they rootless, or are they rooted everywhere?
The Three Pillars of Identity
According to Wherapy, ATCKs balance three different pillars:
- The homeland: the country whose passport declares “home”
- The host culture: where they grew up
- The in-between identity: the individual’s identity is not tied to one place; therefore, they are considered a global nomad
Nokutenda, a first-year student born in Zimbabwe and raised in Eswatini, described this duality vividly. “At home, my parents made sure I stayed connected to Zimbabwean values, but outside, I had to adjust to Swazi culture. It’s like living in two worlds at once,” they said.
The Perks of Being an ATCK
Being an ATCK is not all about existential dread and frequent identity crises. There are a few perks:
- Multilingual flex: Who does not want to boast about knowing multiple languages and casually drop a “merci” mid-sentence?
- Cultural fluency: Constantly switching between customs, languages, and norms builds adaptability and creates a deeper understanding of the world.
- International foodie: Our taste buds have either been blessed or left in absolute shock with different cuisines. Not only do we learn new recipes, but if we are lucky, we are let in on the “secret ingredient” to a generational recipe.
Hope, a first-year student born in Zimbabwe and raised in South Africa, shared how this exposure shaped her perspective. She said, “The best part is to experience different types of people from all walks of life. It teaches you to soften your heart regarding other people’s experiences.”
Being able to become deeply adaptable to surrounding environments at such an early age increases your cultural awareness and sensitivity. This can help enhance cross-cultural communication and language skills, as well as making you ideal for careers or work that involves global settings or connecting with diverse groups of people.
The Flip Side of Floating between Worlds
Despite the many strengths that come with growing up as a ATCK, the challenges run just as deep.
- Where is home, really: Beyond everywhere and nowhere at the same time, the concept of identity becomes quite unstable.
- Imposter syndrome: Can one truly “claim” a culture in which they were not fully raised? Who gets to decide that?
- No long-term roots: Family ties and past and current friendships can feel transient at times. It is awkward going back to your homeland, especially if you have been gone for a while. This could result in feeling like you do not belong.
Hope explained, “The hardest thing is not fully identifying with my home and host cultures. Fragments of me can identify with South Africa because I’ve lived here my whole life, and other parts of me identify strongly with being Zimbabwean.” Nokutenda shared a similar sentiment, highlighting the emotional weight of this balancing act. “The hardest part is feeling like you don’t completely fit anywhere… I’ve had to take it upon myself to learn both cultures because it’s frowned upon when you don’t make the effort.”
There is a sense of displacement, a feeling that you belong everywhere and nowhere at the same time. There is also the struggle of identity and questioning which culture truly represents you. Do you have the approval to honestly say that you belong in a certain community without feeling like this is technically not true?
So… Rooted or Rootless?
The interesting thing about ATCKs is that they have their own unique sense of belonging and identity. Perhaps, they are rooted everywhere and nowhere at the same time. “Home isn’t really tied to one country for me,” Nokutenda shared. “It’s more of a feeling. It’s in the people I love, in the food, the language, and the spaces where I feel safe and understood.”
Perhaps it is not really about where we are from, but instead, how we thrive in the third pillar – the in-between. After all, who needs just one home when the world can be ours. You will meet the best and worst people everywhere you go, but what matters is the home you have made for yourself and the people we have met along the way.
