When straight girls begin theorising that the evil misogynist is secretly DL and proclaiming themselves pillow princesses, we have to stop and ask ourselves: do words not mean anything anymore? As queer culture and queer slang continue to become popularised on social media and begin to join the everyday language of people inside and outside of the community, the issue of misuse and appropriation of words becomes increasingly prevalent. So the question is: should words that originate in queer contexts be used exclusively by queer people, or should we let anyone and everyone use language as they deem appropriate?
Language changes as it gets used. What a word means today may not be the same as what it means ten years down the line. As words become used and reused in different contexts and situations, it is inevitable that their meanings change. But what is also important to note is that language is meant to serve a purpose. Yes, it is fun to use words we consider slang, but a lot of terminology created by and for queer people exists within a very specific political and social context.
The term “stud”, for example, is often used colloquially to describe any masculine-presenting woman. However, this word originated specifically to describe black masculine-identifying lesbians. The term, according to an article by Kris Chesson, was created “to differentiate their experiences from their white counterparts and express gender roles developed within the Black community”. The purpose of this term lies specifically in its identification of a very specific and unique experience. The intersections of their sexuality, gender identity, and race make the experiences of those who are studs different from others who share a single aspect of this identity. This term is not used to divide people based on race or gender expression, but rather to create community between those with similar lived experiences which cannot be separated from these intersecting aspects of who they are. The label highlights the uniqueness of the experiences of studs, acknowledging that while they have been historically marginalised, their experiences matter.
The same goes for most terms which queer people use. Whether it be “butch” or “femme”, these forms of self-identification create language for experiences and expressions which have been previously ignored and therefore give space for queer voices to be heard. This takes cognisance of their identity and how it shapes their world. These identities often have political connotations which are rooted in anti-patriarchal movements and are tied to efforts towards queer liberation.
Another argument for the case of keeping queer slang within the community is that straight people tend to misuse queer slang and use it in a way that creates negative connotations for the word. Evil ex-boyfriends become twinks and misogynists become DL because apparently, if a man cannot just be a bad person, they have to be something way worse – gay. But since when is being gay a bad thing? Why can we not point out the real issue of misogyny without assuming a man must be bad to women because he does not like them in the first place? In 2026, we cannot be regressing to times of using queerness as an insult because it is easier than combating the real issue of misogyny.
All languages have their own origin. Often slang that originates in the queer community exists to connect and build community between people in a world which, for centuries, has ostracised them. Should straight people be allowed to use these terms? There is no way to truly stop anyone from using whatever language they please, but it is important to acknowledge and respect the history and origins of the terms we use.
Visual Mila Jordaan
