In an era where we are encouraged to reflect on and deal with our feelings, we are often advised that “naming our feelings” is the first step towards managing them, but what if those very words are trapping us?
The common language on campus is English, so we tell others how we feel in English. When we describe those feelings, we tend to rely on definitive declarations – “I am sad” or “I am so anxious”. This phrasing does more than just describe a mood; it ties our entire identity to a fleeting emotion. By saying “I am”, we make these momentary feelings a part of who we are. But what if this way of expressing ourselves is actually making us sadder or even more anxious?
In a neuroscience experiment titled “Do words hurt? Brain activation during the processing of pain-related words”, psychotherapist Maria Richter found that negative words spoken, heard, or thought release stress and anxiety-inducing hormones in people. So, when we use absolute language to describe our distress, we inadvertently prolong situational stress and long-term anxiety. This is corroborated by the book Words Can Change Your Brain, where neuroscientist Dr Andrew Newberg and communications expert Mark Robert Waldman explain that “a single word has the power to influence the expression of genes that regulate physical and emotional stress”.
The remedy may actually lie in the diverse South African linguistic landscape. If we compare English to other South African languages, we find a more fluid, temporary perspective on human emotions.
The Batswana people say “Ke hutsafetse” or “Ke utlwile botlhoko”, which translates more closely to “I feel sad” or “the feeling of sadness”. The emotion is treated as an external experience, something to feel rather than become.
In Afrikaans, one might say “ek is hartseer”, which combines the words heart and sore. This implies that it is temporary and promises recovery. It shows that just like a sore wound, it can and will heal.
Vernacular languages carry a long history of culture and values centred around communal joy and emotional wisdom, not only through direct phrasing but through idioms and proverbs such as the Xhosa saying “kuyasa nangomso”, meaning it shall dawn again tomorrow (tomorrow is still another day if you failed today). Carrying this into the English language offers a transformative way of processing feelings and expressing them.
Adopting a more fluid way of speaking will not magically change our emotional and mental state. However, it can fundamentally shift our outlook. By learning from the wisdom of vernacular languages, we can move from “I am” toward “I feel”. It reminds us that what we feel in the moment is exactly that – in the moment.
When we change our words, we remember that while our heart is sore today, it is not its destiny to stay that way.
Visual: Gabriella le Roux
