Jessica Smit

There are nine species which coexist peacefully (most of the time anyway) within the Tuks ecosystem. Perdeby has a breakdown of the weird, the wonderful and the vicious.  

  THE BA STUDENT

Appearance: there are two distinct herds within this species. The poppie-and-jock herd, known for their excellent grooming and impeccable dress sense, and the scruffy, artistic herd, known for their lack of grooming and somewhat outlandish dress sense. Habitat: they are mostly seen lying on the BA grass, or Aula grass, or any grass for that matter. Eating habits: they eat pretty much anything. Except, of course, for the poppies, who try and stick to healthy foods, like salads. Sleeping habits: sleeping occurs at random intervals throughout the day, on the grass or in class. They display nocturnal tendencies. Mating habits: mating takes place in public. Poppies-and-jocks will only mate with members of their own herd. Other BA students are more than willing to graze in foreign territory.

THE LAW STUDENT Appearance: very neat.  Usually seen wearing suits.

Habitat: they are rarely seen outside the safety of the law building. Eating habits: whatever is served at their own private little cafeteria. Apparently they have soup. Sleeping habits: they are diurnal creatures. Mating habits: they are very unlikely to mate outside of their own species and natural selection is strictly enforced.

THE ENGINEERING STUDENT

Appearance: the males wear khaki shorts, T-shirts and tackies. They sometimes accessorise with bicycles. The females are suspected of excellent camouflage, as the female engineering student is yet to be spotted. Habitat: when not in class, seen moving from class to class on bicycles. Eating habits: when they have time to, they eat at Steers. Sleeping habits: they do not sleep. Mating habits: no mating habits have yet been observed.

THE IT STUDENT

Appearance: they appear to spend very little time on changing clothes or brushing their hair. This is to have more time in front of their computers. Habitat: they hibernate for most of the day, in front of their computers. Eating habits: they eat anything they can have delivered to them, in front of their computers. Sleeping habits: occasionally they fall asleep, in front of their computers.

Mating habits: mating takes place online, in front of their computers.

THE BCOM STUDENT

Appearance: they are difficult to spot because they blend in very well. They usually wear plain clothes which don’t draw much attention. Often seen wearing glasses. Habitat: the BCom grass, classrooms or the study centre. Eating habits: it is suspected that they consume money. Sleeping habits: they don’t sleep very much. A lot of their time is spent studying. Mating habits: these creatures are very private about their mating.

THE HEALTH SCIENCES STUDENT

Appearance: they wear uniforms: colour coded pants or skirts, and shirts in shades of blue. Often seen wearing white coats. They also have the questionable habit of wearing Crocs. Habitat: very rarely seen on main campus, they are usually working in the university hospitals. Eating habits: not as healthy as you would think. Sleeping habits: undetermined.

Mating habits: they tend to mate within their own species, for the sake of genetic preservation.

THE THEOLOGY STUDENT

Appearance: they are thought to have sensitive skin that they cover up as much as possible. The females wear long skirts, while the males wear trousers and button-up shirts. Habitat: they gravitate between the theology building and the Chapel. Eating habits: they eat wholesome packed lunches from home. Sleeping habit: they get the required minimum eight hours of sleep every night.

Mating habits: no mating before marriage.

THE EDUCATION STUDENT

Appearance: these students generally look very much like Miss Honey from Matilda, with skirts below the knee and cardigans. Males are scarce and timid. Habitat: Groenkloof campus, occasionally seen on Main Campus. Eating habits: they eat lots of apples. Sleeping habits: bedtime is at 20:00. Mating habits: unremarkable.