1. Heels. Just in case it wasn’t obvious enough, those Aldo sling-backs might not be the most comfortable choice of footwear.

2. Anything with spikes. Yes, you’re at a festival. Yes, you’re channelling your inner Ozzy Osbourne. No, I don’t want to get stabbed repeatedly while dancing to Fokofpolisiekar.

3. Anything white. Keep the wet t-shirt contests for H20.

4. Anything you’ve bought at Forever New. Those pretty patterns are meant for cocktail parties and champagne only.

5. Lace. Trust us, that will be the worst tan you’ll ever have.

6. Only your underwear. Besides inviting dust to get into very unfortunate places, you’re inviting people to call you very unfortunate names.

7. Onesies. Unless you’re definitely going to be sleeping alone, try put in a little bit more effort.

8. Fanny packs. We don’t need to know that your mom did your packing.

9. Ponchos. You don’t have to dress like a Mexican to drink tequila.

10. Ugg boots and skirts. If you’re hot, take them off. If you’re cold, put more clothes on. It’s quite simple, really

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