This week, Rad vs Sad is taking on the bittersweet world of Facebook. Have you heard how Facebook is like a prison? All you do is sit around, write on walls and get poked by people. True story. While there are some definite perks to the network that cannot be ignored, sometimes having that many “friends” you’ve never met can become a problem. Perdeby is all for a “dislike” button.
- Changing your relationship status before your ex. As petty as this is, we know you get a kick out of it. Hey, people will probably even forgive you for making a soppy status at this point. As long as such statuses don’t become a recurring feature.
- That uploaded photo you don’t want to untag. Ah, those rare pictures that surface sporadically where you find yourself looking fairly attractive. Unlike the other 90% that make you look fat/shiny/like you’re on crack. It will probably be your profile picture for the next three years, won’t it?
- Facebook stalking. Well, if people put their business up online it’s meant to be looked at, right? This may only become a problem if those profile view trackers get worked out …
- The DIY profile picture. You know the one we mean. Where the person in question is clearly taking the picture themselves – their entire arm stretched out in the foreground holding the camera kinda gives it away. So unless someone happened to snap you mid-pout while reaching for the cookie jar in bad lighting, you should probably get some friends. Real ones.
- Facebook relationships. Those relationships played exclusively through statuses tend to get old pretty quickly. It’s like an episode of The Bachelor you can’t turn off. Just go on a date, dammit. Or, if Facebook loving is what gets you going, do us a favour and inbox message, okay?
- Status wars. Another of those Facebook evils that gets old really fast. The battle for status supremacy does require a very specific technique, though. It seems that one must never directly refer to the “friend” one is abusing while engaging in combat. Experienced combatants tend to end the attack with a deadly, “You know who you are.” That way when you make up, you can both pretend you were talking about someone else. Diabolical, is it not?
- Being poked. You poke me, I poke back, you poke me … Okay, this isn’t fun anymore. Can we stop now?
- Image: Hanro Spangenberg