Asterhof gave a near flawless performance and took home the overall prize of the night proving that even the most underwhelming residence can achieve greatness. The only thing Pssst… can criticize about their performance is their “Asternauts” theme. Pssst… came up with some other titles that they could have used: AsterNO, Asternotforus and Asternotsogood. While on the subject of female empower­ment, both Magrietjie and Katjiepiering decided to go with themes that had strong feminist undertones. You go girls, or better yet, please go girls. Magrietjie completely lost the plot midway through their screeching performance. There were many things wrong with Katjie’s performance but their biggest downfall were the outfits. Were you court jest­ers? Playing cards? Perhaps you ran out of money making the costumes and that is why it only had one sleeve? Well, to think about it, did we really expect more from the Katte with their maroon everything and basic flowercrowns?

There aren’t enough words in the world to describe the absolutely horrific performance from Olympus. Just some friendly advise from Pssst… to Olympus: It really helps if you teach the same choreography to the front row as to the rest of the group. Pssst… always wonders how these men get time for studying medicine, having a social life, going to the gym and still manage to put up mediocre perfor­mances every year. But when they stepped out in pajama pants and tank tops at Step It Up (yes the name gets funnier and funnier) Pssst… realised that they are definitely skip­ping the gym. This was also made obvious when the poor fella’s in the front row dropped down for some sad push-ups. Come on, do you even lift bro? On the other hand, there are no words to describe what Curlitzia brought to the table, or you know, didn’t. Their performance can be described by the following noises Pssst… made during their rendition of “Look what you made me do”: “Ugh, nuurpe, ew” and finally dramatically yelling “noooo” with fists raised.

Fortunately Madelief did not make it to the finals as Pssst… could not possibly sit through their very boring absolute mess of a performance, if it even qualifies to be called that. Pssst… only has one question for the jottir-wearing campus flies: What were you thinking? A hiking theme? Really?

The second half of the Mopselief duo did not do much to impress Pssst… . Mopanie took a page straight from the misogynist handbook when they chose the theme: “Forgot­ten lives of Dinsney Princes” and advocated for men’s rights. Do men really need more rights though? Plus the “who is Princess Fiona’s husband again” joke was a com­plete failure, as he is the titular character of the film. ITS CALLED SHREK NOT PRINCESS FIONA!

But in the end, Pssst… is still happy that Step It Up (seri­ously, can we start coming up with berrer names? These things are getting worse each time) is still going on. What else could Pssst… have fun watching? Pssst… likes to make fun of the terrible failures, but the successes are not un­noticed… They just aren’t as interesting.

view posts

Pssst... lives under the floorboards of the PDBY offices and eavesdrops on all the happenings in the news world. Pssst... is always up to share some tea, of the liquid and shady kinds.