Hi hi (coughs twice for dramatic effect). Yes, Pssst… is still around. Pssst… is actually feeling better than ever. Probably because Pssst… hasn’t nearly been run over by a cyclist for a while. Or maybe it’s because Pssst… hasn’t heard the words Main Gate for a few weeks.

Pssst… also hates most people, so Pssst… is enjoying the quarantine glow. What Pssst… is not enjoying however, is social media at the moment. Pssst… would politely like to point out that nobody gives a sh*t about your indulgent and horrific TikToks or game face while playing sport!?! Can we please stop with the challenges? Pssst… is begging you.

Go read a book, complete your thesis or find a cure for COVID-19. Pssst… doesn’t care. Pssst… just needs you to find another hobby. And one that doesn’t involve leaving your house. A last bang with your significant other could actually KILL PEOPLE. So think of this as a Love is Blind experience. This is a team effort #strongertogether.

Okay. No no no no no. Never again. Pssst… tried it. Pssst… now feels nauseous. To be honest, Pssst… just needs everyone to stay inside so that things can go back to ‘normal’. And when they do Pssst… will be there for your binge drinking and mistake making. On that note, Pssst… thinks it would be great if everyone did something stupid with their hair.

And with that Pssst… must go and make more tea. Besides Pssst… has eavesdropping to do, information to trade and rumours to spread (aka going to stare at a wall).

Pssst… says adieu and stay safe. xx