The first victim on the Pssst… agenda this week is Maroela. Word has it the boys have been entertaining more than their fair share of female reses. Between Curlitzia, Asterhof and Nerina, Pssst… is struggling to keep up with Maroela’s latest crush. Pssst… reckons Maroela shouldn’t make enemies along the way though. As it is, Curlitzia isn’t too happy with Maroela after the boys ditched the doctors and chose to go on a party bus with Mopanie’s Rag partners Asterhof instead. Besides hurting Curlitzia’s feelings and enraging Mopanie (what’s new?), Maroela have also managed to upset Nerina. Pssst… hears the girls are heartbroken as the partnership is prematurely heading for divorce.

On another note, though, Pssst… hears Nerina did nothing but scream at their Feesjaar Dinee when, after two years without a mascot, Kollege returned Nerina’s mascot to the girls. Pssst… feels bad for the Nerina girls’ poor dates. It can’t have been fun having to contend with all that screaming. And to top it all off, their ears got chewed off by all the bragging that the Nerina girls did. Pssst… reckons Nerina’s heads have got quite big since they won Miss Kollege and Pssst… feels that Kollege should do everyone a favour and steal the mascot again just so we don’t have to hear them. Besides, this is all Kollege’s fault anyway.

Pssst… wonders how Katjiepiering feels about all the attention that Kollege has invested in Nerina. It can’t be fun being shunned aside. Pssst… suggests the Katte ask Magrietjie for advice on how to deal with the trauma. Pssst… hears they’re quite experienced in that department.

Pssst… has noticed how close Magrietjie has got to Taaibos lately. Pssst… suggests the girls don’t become too attached though, Magrietjie doesn’t want history to repeat itself.

Pssst… sees that desperation has hit Jasmyn hard again. The girls are so desperate for attention that they’ve been auctioning themselves off at Springboks. Pssst… could have handled a harmless little auction, but Jasmyn had to take it a step further when they wore minimal clothing to a pyjama party with Kollege. Pssst… would just like to point out that there are other, less slutty, ways to attract guys.

From raunchy to conservative, Asterhof seem to have their heads screwed on the right way, for now. Pssst… thinks it’s refreshing to see that some residences still foster intellectuals who enjoy a game of chess. However, Pssst… isn’t too sure this will help Asterhof to attract any male attention. Well, at least not the attention that Jasmyn is craving.

Boekenhout have locked themselves away for the next few months to prepare for their Serrie performance. Pssst… is very grateful to Boekenhout for this, not because Pssst… is looking forward to seeing their Serrie, but because Pssst… and everyone else on campus don’t have to be faced with disgusting sweat-stained caps. Really Boekenhout, have you never heard of a washing machine?

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