How to be the only single friend in your friend group

by Kirsten Minnaar | Oct 6, 2023 | Features

For many people, university is the perfect time to meet new people and pursue romance. Not everyone is as lucky in love, though. Some people may also simply prefer staying single during this time. Whatever your reason may be for not being in a relationship, it can still be a very frustrating experience to witness seemingly everyone around you fall in love or be in a relationship. This is doubly true if all of your friends are romantically involved. Fortunately, there are ways to cope with this and make the absolute most of your single era.

Dating apps
Dating apps can help you deal with loneliness, whether you just want someone to text and flirt with, or if you are actually looking to go on dates. While it is unlikely that you will find the love of your life on an app filled with photos of men holding fish, you may still meet some fascinating people and have a lot of fun. On the other hand, dating apps can make you feel grateful that you are single. It is easy to romanticise the idea of being in a relationship. However, reading hundreds of people using the wrong form of “its”, getting ghosted constantly, or receiving countless unsolicited inappropriate photos can show you the underrated beauty of remaining unattached. Sometimes, the dating pool is really just a puddle filled with Tetanus – and everyone needs to be reminded of that fact sometimes.

Be selfish
Even the greatest relationships require some level of sacrifice. Being single means that you have the freedom to be as self-centred as you want (within reason, of course). If you want to stay out all night and party, you should do that! Lie in the middle of the bed, and steal all of the blankets you want. Buy yourself flowers, and take yourself out on dates. Watch all the movies you want, go to bed whenever you please, and eat whatever you want. Remember that your friends probably have to pretend to like watching The Wolf of Wall Street, go to sleep by 22:30, and eat unseasoned food because the spiciest thing their significant other can stomach is tangy mayonnaise.

Seek single friends
Sometimes you just need to talk to people who are in the same phase of life as you. You do not have to cut off your friends just because they are in a relationship, but you can always widen your circle. Try and strike up a conversation with fellow students, join a club or society, or reach out to people you have lost touch with since leaving school. While it is great to have coupled friends, it is also common that they do not enjoy the “single activities” that you are interested in. Try and find some people who share your interests and relationship status. Sometimes, being single is a team sport.

Everything is temporary
While it might feel like the situation you find yourself in is absolutely never-ending, it is important to remember just how quickly things can change. You could meet the love of your life tomorrow. Even the couples who seem to have the most perfect relationship can break up at any moment. Chances are that your time as a single person will actually be relatively short in the grand scheme of things. Make the most of the time that you do have by yourself.

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I’m Kirsten, a law student who loves writing, making spreadsheets and consuming an unhealthy amount of caffeine.
I love writing about student issues and current events.