REBECCA WOODROW

No matter where you go this week, you will be reminded of Valentine’s Day and you may just be a little bitter. Perdeby has put together a guide on how to spend the coupliest day of the year when you are as a single Pringle.

  1. Go past your local Clicks and look at all the Lindt chocolates that will go on sale in the coming weeks while whispering, “Soon, my love…”
  2. Head to the movies with your Fellow Single People™ and ironically do the yawn-stretch-arm-around-the-shoulder move on one another.
  3. Take the sticker off your laptop webcam and bare your heart and soul (and other bits if you’re feeling wild) to the intelligence agent watching your every move.
  4. Go full anti-romance. Eat messy, unromantic foods. Watch plotless action movies (no Fast & Furious because See You Again is timeless and will have you reaching for tissues). Subtweet monogamy as a concept.  Remove your relationship status on Facebook. Only listen to music with no romantic vibes. Wear nothing Valentine’s Day-esque.
  5. Do a bunch BuzzFeed quizzes that predict your romantic future, record the results, and start building a lawsuit against creator Jonah Peretti for when the predictions fall through.
  6. Check the weekly weather forecast and plan. What? You’re never too single to plan ahead.
  7. Find out your Pantone Colourstrology shade because it is hauntingly accurate.
  8. Check out your much-neglected Pinterest and plan the perfect one bedroom that you are going to have in the future.
  9. Go on a Wikipedia adventure by starting on the Marriage page and going where the wind takes you.
  10. Gather together the single squad and make one another Tinder profiles. WARNING: Friendships may not survive this evening